AND THEY LET ME BECAUSE THEY LOVED ME..

From a mildly rebellious teenager turned adult to whom it may concern.

If you are new here then Hi, my name is Rasika and i have recently decided to dump all of my thought here for strangers to read. I have a very unusual taste what can i say! 

( I am trying really hard to not put a "haha" or a laughing emoji after every time i crack a joke, so please comment down below and make all effort counts by sharing my blog)

I am a bit obsessed with buying diaries with the hope that i shall one day write into it. But my reality is somehow always the opposite, i currently own a shit tone of diaries and to add a little more to that i have designed my own line of diaries ( go check out on my Instagram page @surfacepatternrighthere). 

The point is no matter how much i try i end up buying diaries and never using them or using them half way through and wishing for a new one.   

 If my father is reading this blog he is probably rolling his eyes.

I feel the reason i do this is because many moons ago when i was in school i went through a traumatic experience of my diary, MY PERSONAL diary being exposed in front of my parents and this blasphemes act was carried out by none other than my own blood, my own little brother. oh how i wanted to scratch his eyeballs out but all i could do was rip the pages out of my diary (I had some dark secrets okay!) and tear them into pieces and continue living my life as if no one has read my diary. 

Did my parents read all my dark secrets or did my brother just bluff about it to scare me off, that's a story for another time.

This story is about my parents, a rather well deserved blog dedicated for my dear parents.

I can feel people clicking out of this blog, i can physically feel it!

but hey if you're still here then i am currently sending virtual hugs to you.

I would like to believe that i was a very normal child growing up. I was very loved just like every other kid. I had a very mild rebellious phase where i remember after my 10th boards I went to a salon and chopped my hair off and i vividly remember the salon lady asking me twice if i was sure about this decision because she knew my family and how furious my family is going to get. But rest assured i didn't have any bad phase of rebellion. I wasn't a runaway child. You'd ask me rasika if you were such a normal child with no rebellious phase then why are you wasting our time by making us read this blog. 

The reason i decided to make my parents the second blog topic is because some times people create this image of their parents in their head in which they seem to the villain of their story and trust me i thought so too and then i grew up.

so let's back up a little bit and start from the beginning   

As a kid the most horrifying thing is to be shifted to a new environment, a new school. Because a new environment would mean making new friends.

I was picked up from a school that did not stress the importance of dictating answers in class to a school where students didn't only write whatever was dictated to them in English but also knew the meaning of the word "dictating". Now imagine me, a 5th class kid in tears, feeling helpless because i didn't know what the teacher was saying and neither did i know anyone who i could ask for some help. 

oh the memory of kanchan miss asking everyone if they wanted her to dictate the answer or to write it on the board and everyone shouting "dictate it mam!"

and "Nooooo" i cried in my head.

I hope this explains why every Mount Carmel girls high school pass out becomes a Grammar Nazi (says the girl who is probably making tonnes of grammatical errors in this blog) moving on...

I have on multiple occasions tried to erase school memories off my brain and I've been quite successful in that pursuit except for this one memory, that one damn memory that always gets me emotional. 

So this is the time in school when i couldn't, for the life of me get into any preformed groups of girls because

 A) They were all friends since kindergarten.

B) I lived very far so i had no interaction with any of the girls during summer vacation or even after school

C) I was a very shy person when i was in school, didn't talk that much. And i wasn't into any sports group as well.

So i stole some money to buy a birthday cake for myself one year so that they would come and sit with me permanently in our recess period.

The friendship didn't really last for a long time. So it's only fair to deduce that it didn't work. It left me feeling guilty for a very very long time. 

Years later in my 12th class i did the same thing except this time the friend came to me with an intention using me for money under the disguise of being in a serious situation. I fell for it and helped that person. When my parents found out they asked me to be honest and i told them what i did and to my surprise they did nothing, they didn't scold me, they didn't beat me. 

I was being honest for once and they respected that i suppose...

My father only wanted one thing from me and that was for me to study engineering because he is an engineer himself and don't get me wrong i had all the intentions to go for it until i realized there were so many other streams i could pursue.

I cried hours on end when he made me sit for AIEEE exam and when i cleared it with a result so bad that i never want to talk about it. And with that terrible score i somehow got into Sardar Patel institute, Mumbai.

 I was a 17 year old girl who was not allowed to go to Mumbai to study for my UG. 

How ghastly! How could they right ?

I did exactly what they asked me to do and they still did not permit me to go to the city of dreams! what a shame!

And as expected i cried for days on end not because they didn't let me join the college but because they didn't let me go to Mumbai. I was a teenager, you see?

But honestly i don't regret it one bit. I was 17 yo, i clearly didn't know any better. 

I had to settle for SVSS, and by the time i joined the college i was over the whole engineering craze. I did present my parents with options of graduation in Hotel management and fashion designing. But nothing appealed to them as a sustainable course. 

I remember i wrote a super long text to my father telling him how i wanted to build a huge house for them and be successful if only he'd let me study what i wanted but he didn't change his mind. He did what he thought was best for me. 

SVSS is the period where i got into photography and i obviously flunked out of engineering college, mostly because i didn't like it and partly because i didn't study.

Parents spent a lot of money for my fees and i was such an ungrateful child back then that i didn't even think twice before quitting engineering. 

And they let me because they loved me....

I got a job by the end of my graduation ( I joined a different college) and my parents were the happiest. 

My streak of bad decisions doesn't end here so don't click off.

I made my parents invest a hefty amount on my international studies to only come back from there for some ungodly reason i'd rather not talk about. 

They didn't force me to stay there they let me do whatever i thought  was right...

Few years ago when i was a teenager my father told me that he would disown me if i ever wanted to get married to a guy i loved. A lot happened after that, I grew up and so did my parents, everything changed with time.

 As a father of a teenager my parents thought it was fitting to warn me about it so that i never end up taking a bad decision that i would regret for the rest of my life.

I got married at the age of 25 to a guy i loved. Not once did he question my decision of marrying this guy. He trusted my choice. I personally am very proud of that decision myself. My parents like him more than they like me and it's very annoying but in a good way.

If you are in a pickle where your parents are against something that you so badly want, may be just step aside and evaluate the situation and think about it from their perspective. 

Its very easy to label parents as bad or claim that they're against you when you're looking at their decisions with a 2D view. 

Trust me when i say this, parents are the only people in your life who will throw second chances at you like confetti's, no matter how badly you've messed up or you think you are in a very bad trouble. They will come to your rescue no matter how and no matter where.

However young or old you might be they will always, ALWAYS see you as a child. 

(Is them treating you like a child a good thing? highly questionable.)

They might seem like a villain of your story at the moment but I assure you they are the real hero's of all of our stories.

 And they always will be.

From taking hundreds of pictures of me as a child to liking my pictures on Facebook we both have grown up a lot. 

Thank you mummy papa for never giving up on me even when i gave up on me. 

( They still ask me to apply for govt jobs clearly they never give up!)

No, its not father's or mother's day but why should that stop us from telling our parents that we love them, right? 

Share you stories with me in the comments below, I'd love to read them.